ebb and flow

A series of emails between my good friend, Dean, and me:

From: dean
Subject: sup
Date: November 11, 2004 12:33:16 PM CST
To: bill

dean

To which I replied:

From: bill
Subject: Re: sup
Date: November 12, 2004 9:02:54 AM CST
To: dean

Hey, man! I got mosta yer stuff, but I haven’t had time to finalize. Still in LA till tonight. Then home and into sanity. Will finish this weekend and send to you.

Strange week. Mostly good. Bad news, though, in that Lynn’s cancer has returned–to liver and bones. no REALLY big change in course as of yet, just a disappointment for us.

Anyway…we’ll chat when I get back to THE OTHER SIDE.

Later…

And then he wrote:

Oh my God, Bill. I am so very sorry to hear that. If there’s anything the Hyers family can do… i.e. dinner, hang out, clean your house, serve as a distraction, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., let us know. That so sucks. Standing by for whatever. Hard to even think about, let alone value, movie stuff with a specter like that is lurking about.

Tell me how I/we can help.

Dean

And then my turn…

Or…one might say that movie stuff is the savior right now. So…I value it.

We decided that I would not return to MN early, as an indicator of how we’re NOT letting this get to us. So…all I say is thanks…I WILL let you know what you can do…but right now it’s to stay strong with us and keep going in life without a sideways glance. ‘Cause that’s what we’re doing. It’s a mere bump in the road–not even a speed bump yet–and we’re treating it as such.

All that said…we’ll talk when I get back. I look forward to going over the compiling of story I’ve been able to muster.

Later…

Dean:

COUNT ME IN! I’m on your page with the plan for life and living. When I first got your email, I had to sit down and stop everything for a moment. Then, on the radio was this song…

Chumbawamba’s, “Tubthumping”
Lyrics:
I get knocked down
but I get up again
your never gonna keep me down

And then I was ready to join you and Lynn in your strategy. It really is the right one. So count me in and I will align my spiritual vibes with that outcome. I learned from a Native American (second hand, anyway) of a form of prayer where you simply FEEL THE FEELING of the outcome you desire – feel the feelings you would have if the desired outcome already existed, and visualize it. It’s believed to be the “prayer” way of opening the doorway to the possibility you desire. This particular tribe believes in this over the begging to God style prayer most of us grew up with, which is focusing on the doorway to the possibility you DON’T want, as opposed to focusing (and manifesting) the possibility you DO want.

Anyway, that’s what I’ll be proudly and confidently doing.

Keep rockin’!

Dean

Finally…

From: bill
Subject: I need to tell you…
Date: November 12, 2004 7:46:09 PM CST
To: dean

I love you, my friend.

This song…this gift. Made my FUCKING WEEK!

It’s my new theme song. It’s me…

Thanks for being in my life. For being a first class friend. For being a gentleman and a scholar.

I have learned sooOoOoOo much this week and made some really cool connections. I look forward to uploading to the Dean Machine sometime next week, okay?

My favorite part…

He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink

He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times

Don’t cry for me
Next door neighbour

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never going to keep me down

So…there you have it, TRUE LIFERS. You know as much as I do.

As I write this, I am sitting at the LA airport and waiting for my red-eye flight, which is scheduled to depart from Gate 22 sometime before the next ice age or fair and tamper-free US presidential election, which ever comes first. 😉

Anyway…I bring this up because at this moment, I am struck by this image…

It’s me…waiting. In a holding pattern for now–a momentary respite. Yet, soon, I will once again be rushing headling through space at break-neck speeds toward home. It is my physical, it is my emotional, it is my spiritual, it is my metaphysical. It is my reality.

…And what am I doing right now? I’m writing.

You know what? For the first time in my life—come what may (and believe me, it feels a little strange to say this, considering the news)–it feels pretty cool.

Our lives, the tides, the world. It will ebb and flow as it sees fit. I am content to let it do so. Yet, every day I will gently nudge it, reminding it, “I have other plans, my friend.”

And so…though it was not my intended purpose for the bird against sun picture in my last post, I guess I was right. It really was about this, my next post.

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