No longer will I call thee "Poop Phone".
From here to eternity, I dub thee "Lazarus".
Turns out the phone, itself, was fine. When it went in the drink, it was only the battery that shorted out.
Don’t know why it took me so long to check that out. Well, for one, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Second, when I fished the thing outta the pot and rinsed it off, it seemed as though the screen was shot. Oh yeah…and none of the keys worked either.
It’s been sitting in my desk for months.
Being forced to use the Ancient Phone I HATE has been absolutely grating on me. I mean, let’s get this straight…ol’ Lazarus mighta taken a poop bath, but APIH was and always will be, quite simply, a shitty phone. I don’t wanna piss off any cell manufacturers, so I won’t mention the brand. All I can say is using the thing wears my nerves RAZR thin.
To top it off APIH hasn’t been doin’ to well lately. Feeling it’s age. So it’s old and shitty. Ack!
Facing the prospect of having to sling significant jing at a new phone, I decided to see–just see–what would happen if I put Robbye’s battery (it’s the same model) in my phone. And, well…lo and behold… Hot damn.
Next thing I know, I am running out to my local ATT store for a new battery. $23.00 later, I slip that bad boy in, and guess what?
Lazarus.
Umm…anyone got any Lysol spray?
True Life 
Why is it that you drop your phone into shit and it becomes a phoenix, burning stinkily evermore, and I put mine in my jeans pocket with a coat over it in the rain with an umbrella and it is as dead as a motherfucking doornail?
Karma is sexist. And ageist. And possibly hates the south. =(
Ma’am…step off the soapbox.
You needn’t worry. Karma is in full force.
Lazarus, I re-dub thee “Poop Phone”.
If you catch my drift.
You know… they do have covers – like the plastic your grandma used to put on the couch. You could always protect yourself that way.