The mortal enemy of the writer

Typo!  O! typo!  Thou art a demon!

Why why why why why why why, oh why?!?

Why must I be plagued so, with fat fingers that produce the most stupid, most embarrassing errors.  Especially when I am trying to…you know…impress someone.

This is what it was today.

Okay…so I was sending out announcements to my mailing list about the upcoming RUNAWAY screening in LA, and there were a few very special ones I wanted to send.  You know…in cases.

One was to Thomas Dolby, who lives in LA.  And of whom I have been a rabid fan since I was, like, 15.  Yes…I have all his albums.  Well, all of them except the She Blinded Me With Science EP, which was my first Dolby purchase.  On cassette.  I wore it out and haven’t been able to find a replacement.

Dolby’s, by the way, was the first "rock" concert I ever went to.  At age 19 (gimme a break!  I grew up on a freakin’ farm!), at First Avenue, with my friend, Mike Popham.  The Flat Earth tour…Hyperactive as the day is long.

One was to Nikki FInke, because I think her Deadline Hollywood Daily is the coolest, most informative place on the Internet for the inside scoop on what’s going on in the movie biz.  If you wanna know the story behind the story…and then wanna know the story behind that..?  Read Nikki’s blog.  Anyway, I sent her an invite.

The last one was to WIl Wheaton.  I would LOVE it if he would come (well, if any of them would come, but I am not holding my breath).  His blog and his book (I read Just a Geek during my downtime while I was in NYC for RUNAWAY preproduction) and his attitude–and integrity by which the guy leads his life–all impress me.  And they’ve inspired me.

And, of course, he’s the reason why I started a blog in the first place.

It was to Will Wheaton dot Net that my brother, Jack, sent me one day in 2003, saying, "Have you checked out WIl Wheaton’s blog?"

"You mean Wesley Crusher?"

Unfortunately, any cred he’d gained from being the Stand By Me kid had been erased from memory after Star Trek.

And that’s no offense to him.  He was fine in it.  It was those first two seasons–especially the second one.  Yeesh!  Then there was the matter of the producers and writers obviously throwing their hands up in the air virtually every episode that featured Wil’s character and crying, "What they hell are we gonna do with the kid this episode?  ‘Cause I got nothin’."

Anyway, back to Jack and me.

Jack replies, "Yeah.  You wouldn’t believe it.  It’s amazing.  You need to give him a read.  …And then, Bill?  You need to be doing that, too."

And so it came to pass.

The name of the blog has changed, but the inspiration has not.  It’s why I keep the tagline "One droll primate with an iBook can’t be wrong" in the blog banner.  It’s an homage to Wil’s old tagline "50,000 money with 50,000 typewriters can’t be wrong."  (You’d be amazed how many people ask about that.  Now.  You.  Know.)

Okay…so you get the picture.  I wanted this email message to be smooth.  Fly.  All that and a bag of chips.

Yet, in the last line, I type this:

I would love the opportunity to thank you in person for the gift that it that

And I hit send.  Of course.

What the hell?!?

Ack!  Ugh!  Shit!

Why does this happen?!?

I proof and proof and proof and proof and still…

I wish I had that detailed eye, but I simply do not.  And it is the freakin’ bane of my existence.  Makes me feel like an idiot when crap like that happens.

Which is always in the most Wheaton of situations.

All I can say is that I hope Wil looks beyond the typo and doesn’t think I am a total dip.  "This guy calls himself a professional writer?  As fi!"

Oh well…at least I didn’t type:

…for the gift tha tit that

That would make me a real boob.

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