Off my high horse

Yeah, yeah… It’s an affliction.

So the comment from my dear friend Sheree on my last post made me think. I wonder whether sometimes I simply sound like a blow hard?

I know! I know…shocking as that may sound, work with me here for a moment.

My last post helped me to realize something about taking a stand on things. See…taking a stand–a real, live stand–is something I usually try to avoid. I mean, I have stances on plenty of topics, but I usually keep them to myself or prefer to present them to people and in situations where they won’t offend people. So…I let the blow hards be the blow hards, while I am happy to (usually) remain the jester in the court of public opinion. It’s the Minnesotan in me.

I find myself today wondering what this animal “taking a stand” really means? Was I sounding like one of those blow hards when I spouted off like I did yesterday? Honestly, I don’t know. I can only speak to my intention, which was to demonstrate the series of mental events that are leading me to take some unesxpected actions in my life. It surprises me–and somewhat embarasses me–that the impetus for such action….well, not exactly the impetus…the straw that broke the camel’s back was something as shallow and selfish as feeling like I’m paying too much for gas.

Yet, for some reason, it, in synchronicity with a number of other events in my life, has shed some light on an interesting new path at this point in my journey. For some reason, I’ve begun to not only understand the fragility of the world in intellectual terms, but in real life terms. In very personal ways.

The reason for yesterday’s post is that this strange turn in thinking has compelled me to something I had previously avoided…action. …And it feels strange and wonderful and scary all at the same time. I don’t know exactly where it’s leading me–the way is still obscurred–but I feel it’s the right one.

For now, I am having lunch sometime next week with my new friend Rod at Messiah Lutheran Church to see what I can possibly contribute to their mission to help out the Phillips neighborhood in Minneapolis. In the and/or department, I also realize that this is a good time to take up my Catholic mantle again and pay a visit to St. Pat’s parish in St. Paul. It’s pretty poor–the Catholic version of Messiah, though maybe not quite as destitute. Perhaps that’s another place to explore.

…And, yes…I am riding my bike.

So…all that said, I still wonder… I think about guys evangelizing on street corners. Or people making impassioned speeches of any kind. When they make me feel uncomfortable, is it them being blow hards, or is it me being a dunderhead because I just don’t get it yet. …Or worse…I DO get it, but I don’t want to admit that the guy’s probably right.

Man…I’m going back to ridiculous pictures and corny captions. This other stuff is too damned heavy.