I’ve noticed something. Yeah, yeah…I know. Goody for me.
I’m not the brightest bulb on the tree, mind you, so the fact that this has just dawned on my now comes as no surprise to me. It does, however, resonate. A little, but distinct “click!” that echoes through my mind, like the hoof…uh…falls of Paul Revere’s horse on cobblestone. “He’s finally got it! He’s finally got it!”
This morning I realized that-aside from the rigors of everyday life—the main reason why I don’t post here on a regular basis lately is that I am trying too hard to be clever.
Ever since I got back on Monday, I have had news and such to report here. Every time I sit in front of this keyboard, however, I clam up. I tell myself that I need some cool hook, some interesting angle, something that’s gonna knock your socks off. Of course, what ends up happening is my eyes go kinda burry, and my brain starts to feel fuzzy. A minute later, the only thing I’m good for is a nice, long nap.
Or…I just surf the Internet. Damn you, wi-fi technology.
Now, I don’t say this to beat myself up, so don’t worry. I am merely telling you this as a matter of course—to recognize the 800-pound gorilla in the middle of the proverbial room. Now that we’ve acknowledged the fellow, now I can tell you the next thing I said to myself this morning.
“Self,” I said, I did. “This ain’t some namby-pamby frou-frou weblog! No sirree! Clever banter! We don’t need no stinkin’ clever banter! This here is TRUE LIFE!”
Uff da. You betcha.
Okay, seriously, I looked back at the little bio page I set up all these months ago. When I read through it, I remembered that I never said anything about being clever or cool or whatever. I only said this little TRUE LIFE thing was a tool to help define “who I am”. Well, I realize that I am not a clever or cool little ditty.
At least that’s TRUE some of the time. Sometimes, I am goofy and funny and whatnot. Other times, I am downright businesslike and/or boring. There are times when I am utterly uninspired. There are times when a shopping list is the most challenging thing I can commit to paper.
And sometimes, I got it going.
So…now you’re sitting there and going “Uh…huh…?”
All I’m trying to say (and why say it in 25 words or less, when you can say it in 250 words or more?) is that I get today that TRUE life, real and TRUE life, is like that. If you live with someone else, as I have had the pleasure of doing for the past glorious 18 years, you realize that it ain’t all wine and roses. As John Cusack’s character in HIGH FIDELITY pointed out, it’s not the pretty, sexy, satiny lingerie. It’s the faded, stretched out of shape, cotton panties hanging over the tub.
…And that’s what makes it great. ‘Cause, as Cusack’s character further acknowledged, the satiny, sexy stuff is the fantasy. It’s the cute problems, like you each bought one another the same Christmas gift.
And, like Cusack’s character, I get tired of the fantasy.
I am not the world’s best writer. Hell, in my book, I’m not even that good. I’m just some guy that’s been getting a couple of good breaks and has been a little lucky. I mean, yeah…I’m okay. But not stellar…not consistently so, that is.
I do believe I will be someday—consistently stellar at this writing thing. But I am not there yet. That, my friend, is going to take practice. Lots of it.
And that is why TRUE LIFE is here in the first place. I dreamed of a place where I could put it out there—not just the satiny stuff, but the cotton undies, too—and just let it be. Get it out of my head and into the ether, so I could release it.
That’s what I am doing today. That, I realize, is what I want to do every day.
Gudda-gump! Gudda-gump! Gudda-gump! Gudda-gump!
“He’s finally getting it! He’s finally getting it…!”
Stay tuned for some RUNAWAY BOYS updates. Not pretty, but pretty informative.